Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christina Reveals A Secret About Jennifer

Attention Dear Readers:

Jennifer's secret ingredient to her batter for all things fried is ..... SUGAR.

Carry on.


P.S. Jennifer is not very protective of this secret (I don't think).  - C

P.P.S. This picture is funny.  It is wholly unrelated to the topic of this blog post. - C

Monday, December 19, 2011

Phrase of the Day: PEEN ENVY

Peen Envy-

[peen en-vee]
1. a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's wedgelike, spherical, or other striking end of a hammer head opposite the face.
2. also, why Voldemort loves Nagini so much (according to Jennifer).

(Ohhhhh....Nagini is a SNAKE! Jennifer's joke makes so much more sense now!)




Friday, December 2, 2011

Haiku Time!

Haiku...by Christina
How does a garment
With no knees, crawl up my butt?
Behold, underwear.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Being Cheap Forces Me to Be Brilliant

Will something like this cause you to buy new sunglasses? Here's what happens when this situation happens to my cheap ass:

Looking in the mirror:

"YES!!! Sunglasses stay on my face without one of the little arm thingys!"

                                                              **Calling them "Arm Thingys" is legit...shut up**

                           Turns to the side:
                                                           "FUCK!! Now what?!?!"

Extreme side part to the rescue!

"No one driving on my left will even know the difference!"




Tuesday, November 8, 2011

FACKET - Defined

FACKET - (noun) a smashing of the words Fact + Packet.

This is the second morning Christina has called me at work. I don't know what time she has to work but by 8:30am I'm knee-deep in worky things. But as she is my sister and I love HATE her, of course I pick up the phone.

Jennifer: "You are calling at an unorthodox time of day. Is there an emergency?"

Christina: "This isn't an emergency. Unless you count me being completely nuts as an emergency?"

Jennifer: "Let me check my fact sheet." ::browsing an imaginary piece of paper:: "Nope, according to my fact sheet, this is not an emergency. Is this gonna be a new thing for you? Calling me each morning to distract me with our sisterly shenanigans?"

Christina: "Yes. ::LOL:: This is gonna be a new thing. I've been up since 5am drinking coffee."

A conversation ensued regarding a mission she has for me that requires me to browse the internet during my work time.


Jennifer: "What?! me? Not do work, AT WORK? How dare you!!    .....ok, what do you want?"

Throughout the call I kept referring to my "Fact Sheet". This of course, is now an imaginary sheet of paper that I will use to make my sister look stupid by validating my side of every arguement. The fact sheet will ALWAYS side with me. :)  (I have never before had such a tool to help me win against my big sister...THA POWER!! Mwahahaha!!)

Christina: "That fact sheet sounds like its getting pretty thick"

Jennifer: "Yes, its more of a packet really... a Fact Packet ... A FACKET!!"
Update by Christina:  Actually, *I* made up this word.  Leave it to a little sister to steal all the credit.  Y U NO GIVE ME CREDIT????  Y U NO LIKE ME????

A hence, a new word created by the sisters of Pink Pink U Stink . Please use it today and win your argument. Just be careful of how your pronounce it! You could sound like a discriminating asshole and wind up in Human Resources with a box for your personal possessions or your head swirlied in a toilet at a Train Station or beaten with plungers outside of Bed Bath & Beyond.



Thursday, October 20, 2011

What Do You Want to Be Today?

~Cat what are you doing. You are not a towel. You do not even like water. Get off of that.





Loyal Readers: this just goes to show ya - For every shitty, debbie-downer in this world, there is a whole group of people waiting to encourage you to be whatever the fuck you wanna be. Towel rack, pipe, or otherwise… for instance, today I’m a cupcake sprinkle.



6 Proofs That Elephants Are Jerks

My hypothesis:  Elephants are jerks. 

Proof #1:  This elephant drives like my ex-boyfriend.  He would rather run the car off the road than allow it to pass safely and reasonably.

Proof #2:  Just like humans, some elephants are just jerks.  Like Stampy and Homer Simpson.

Proof #3:  Lamkun, The Deliberately Sneezing Pachyderm.  A delightful story about a ride on a jerk of an elephant.

Proof #4:  Poor iguana. Just go look at this picture.

Proof #5:  Color me jerk. Even interior decorators are catching on to this phenomena.

Proof #6:  GTFO. The first two rows will get wet.

Hypothesis:  PROVEN.  (I dare you to rebut in the comments.)

Monday, September 26, 2011

Notes Between Sisters From Around the Web

We haven't posted in a while.  Sorry, geez.  We've been busy, OKAY?  Here's some notes between sisters, and some just written by a sister, and maybe one or two that are just hilarious.

This is what one sorority sister posted outside her door.  She's really not kidding, okay?

 Sister One goes out of town.  Sister Two saves little fish's life.  Sister One now makes Sister Two's bed for life.

A mother's plea.

I love everyone.  Except those SISTERS.  I can only muster up a "like."  And even that is wavering.

One sister helps out her other sister by threatening her new beau.  She means it, too.

An acrostic poem assigned in school about a family member.  She could have done "Mom" but Martha's sister was a deep well of material.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

The joker smile on Hello Kitty really makes the intent known.  Or DOES IT?

If you have a sister, write her a note today!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Fluffy Movies

I watch Fluffy Movies.  These are movies for which my Daria-esque, ball-busting, feminist side would have me beheaded for watching.  I blame Jennifer.

Fluffy Movie
(fluf-FEE moo-VEE)
1.  a movie with a largely female-theme, esp. teenage females, with plot lines built around trends, pop-culture references, boys, make-up, music by female artists/bands, and including at minimum one makeover scene.


Reason I Watched: 
Heath Ledger sings an over-the-top version of Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You by Frankie Valli.

Reason I Watched:
The impromptu Thriller dance that saves the day.

Reason I Watched:
Contagiously quotable dialogue.

Reason I Watched:
Must see the train wreck that is Lindsey Lohan pretend she is in a rock band.

Reason I Watched:
To indulge my inner bitchy teenager that wants to ruin a boy who hurt me.

Reason I Watched:
Again, the Lohan train wreck.  Also, best line in the movie:
Amber D'Alessio: [reading from the burn book] Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!

Reason I Watched:
I'm a stupid sucker for makeover montages and big reveals.

Reason I Watched:
Again with makeover montages and big reveals.

Reason I Watched:
Teenaged witches.  Doing WICCA.  :)

Jennifer gives me reason to indulge myself so I can't be held responsible for these Fluffy choices.  It's all her fault.  She MADE me watch them.  I TRY to be a good big sister and hang out with my little sister.  If I HAVE to.  (Heh, heh!)

Friday, September 9, 2011

Whatcha Got In Here Friday & What I'll Give You if You'll Just Go Away Friday

Christina: SOOOOOOOOOOO.....Whatcha got in here?!!!!!!?!!!!!?

Jennifer:  ::looks around::


have these baby arm earrings. You can have them if you just get out of my room!

Christina: Ok I'll have them. But what ELSE ya got in here ::continues looking around::

Jennifer: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!

Have a lovely weekend!


Pink Pink U Stink

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My "Grease Spot"

Its totally okay to laugh about it now, but I used to be very sensitive when my family would call the comfy spot upon where I sat and enjoyed the comforts of home, my "grease spot".

I guess they named it after the fantastic product that "lets your soul shine through" from the film Coming to America. In this movie there is a scene when the couple gets off the couch and there is a stain from where their Soul Glo seeped into the cushions.

If you aren't familiar with the movie, then imagine if you left a french fry on a napkin...like so:

Your body produces natural oils; and from the amount of time I spent watching tv from the safety and comfort of my bed, one could come to the conclusion that I was the french fry of life and my bed, it's napkin.

It would appear that I was a shut-in that didn't shower for days; eating, drinking, loafing in my "spot". I think I was so sensitive because they were basically saying I was unhygenic. Truthfully, there were a couple (ok, a lot) of weekends that I wouldn't shower or brush my teeth, but by Monday morning when I had to go to school, I would shower and be as presentable as an awkward teen can be. In my defense, WHO HASN'T GONE A WEEKEND WITHOUT SHOWERING?

As (a less awkward) adult, I still find myself going all weekend without a shower. Its so friggin hot in Florida and I am covered in sweat 5 seconds after showering anyway...I have little care what strangers may think of me in my ponytail nubbin (I have short hair, efforts to have a flowing cascade of ponytail are futile) and comfy weekend wear. That is, if I even leave the house! If I do leave the house, its because I'm rummaging through dirty thrift stores and crafting with paint, glue, scraps of fabric/thread/paper. There is no need to smell pretty and dress up in my "sunday best".

So back to the the grease spot of my childhood..... It was me, and my stuffed animals, watching my favorite characters doing things I hoped to do someday. Here's what I thought I was doing:

Here's what they saw:

Funny thing is...just yesterday I was having a BBQ Pulled Pork-Mango-Pickle Sandwich (a recipe of my own concoction), drinking out of a juice jug (no glass), in my undies, on my frilly-doily-covered-queen-anne-chair, watching I Dream of Jeannie. It looked a lot like the above picture. And I'm okay with that; Cuz I'm an adult and I can have cookies for breakfast if I want to. Jelly?



Tuesday, September 6, 2011

A Picture of a Gross Snail

I submit that Jennifer open an antique shop called "Everything Is Gross."

Who's with me?


Friday, September 2, 2011

Match Made in Pork Heaven

Ham Dress chatted this guy up on eharmony last night...he didn't have mustard...but he had bacon.

And who doesn't love bacon?

 "Every day, an average of 542 singles marry a match they found on eHarmony" is their tagline. I suppose there is someone for everyone...

Whatcha Got In Here? Friday - Response


This is what Christina's face would look like. Not the whole body, just a poke around the corner. She asks the question like my room is some sort of garage sale for the early birds- ready to start rummaging for the bargains!!!

Let me make one thing clear...

She never TOOK anything.

It was psychological warfare for Christina to make me think she wanted (and could easily have) anything in my room.....I don't think she even WANTED my stuff, but she wanted for me NOT TO HAVE IT ANYMORE.

After the poke around the corner maneuver, and as the question is being asked, her eyes first got enlarged like OOOOH EVERYTHING IN HERE IS SOOOOO INTERESTING I MUST HAVE THESE THINGS, the eyes would begin to shift around making me uncomfortable that all she had to do would grab something and run. Unfortunately I, on the bed, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes would be powerless to stop any potential burgle (singular of burglary...google it. jk... don't do that, I made it up)



Whatcha Got In Here? Friday

I'm starting a new tradition on PPUS.  It's called "Whatcha Got In Here? Fridays" and it fucking rules.

You probably could use a little primer on why this is funny.  Back in the day, and even today whenever I get the chance, I used to stroll into Jennifer's room and make my eyes all wide.  I'd look at her stuff with keen interest, occasionally picking something up (but it's funnier when I didn't) and ask her all nosy-like, "Whatcha got in here?"

She would immediately begin a freak-out, yelling at me to get out of her room to which I responded with maniacal laughter.

Don't ask me why I think this is funny, or why it got under Jennifer's skin so badly.  Perhaps one day Jennifer will post an explanation for this strange neurotic behavior.

But now on PPUS for "Whatcha Got In Here? Friday" I'll post a pic that perfectly illustrates the proper facial expression to perform the "Whatcha Got In Here?" exercise in annoying your younger sister.  Hope you enjoy today's "Whatcha Got In Here?" face and have a terrific THREE DAY WEEKEND!

Thursday, September 1, 2011


1.  A mash-up of the words "thrifting," "crafting," and "snacking."
2.  The act of eating snacks while crafting things you found while thrift store shopping that day.

Usage:  "Girrrrl, we are SO gonna be thraftnacking tomorrow afternoon after those six garage sales, two antique stores and hitting up Jo-Ann Fabrics!  Swiss rolls, Cheetos, and brie.  Maybe some banana daquiris for potassium.  We're gonna need to replenish our energy."

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


This was a completely original word made up by my sister and I. I've added it to Urbandictionary.com.

SNORBICLE: (verb) The mashing of the words "Snort" and "Cubicle".

It is what happens when you are at work (typically within a office-like setting, though not necessarily within a cubicle) and while browsing the internet you come across something that makes you laugh. However, due to the silent conditions you try to hold it back and it comes out as a snort. Your co-workers begin to look at you funny as you try to recover from the odd sound but also trying to enjoy the hilarity of the joke/picture/facebook post etc.

Also used as a subject line warning so you can brace yourself if sent by a friend.
"That picture of the lolz cats you sent me made me snorbicle, I'm lucky I still have a job"
"RE: Beware, SNORBICLE, funny kittens eating spaghetti"

Girl, You Don't Be Knowin' Bout Mah HAM DRESS

Not an actual "dress" per se, but still a little fancy for a night out on the town.

The Notorious Facebook Post About Hiding Poop

Why has this blog turned into a fecal fiesta?  I promise you there will be dick jokes soon.  And maybe some recipes.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there's this:

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Poop Particles: A Response and A Defense

(This is my rebuttal to Jennifer's previous post: Poop Particles)

Poop particles can SO be conducted through the phone.  They travel like sound.  I'll get some sources on this asap.

Secondly, I made Jennifer sit outside the bathroom door while I pooped NOT to assist in some psychological or proximal way.  I made her do it for the following reasons:
  1. For most of my high school career, my daily constitutional began it's prairie-doggin' dance on the bus on the way home.  EVERYDAY.  So poop was happenin' on a regular schedule.  Fiber was my friend.
  2. Being the oldest of three and our dad not being home for another hour or two, I had responsibilities to take care of.  One of them was checking/opening the mail.  Another was holding the cordless phone (because I was IN CHARGE, that's why). 
  3. Pooping and eldest-kid-responsibilities required simultaneous attention. 
  4. Jennifer rules.  When she was awesome, she was AWETHOME.  When she was not so awesome, it was awethome to annoy her. 
So basically I made her sit there to amuse me while I pooped if she was being cool that day.  And if she wasn't being cool that day, I made her sit there to amuse me while I pooped AND made noises and generally grossed her out because it's hilarious when she gets all neurotic.

I have always asked myself:  How does someone with their pants around their ankles, covered in very important mail and cordless phones, MAKE someone sit on the carpet outside the door and hold a conversation with said pooper?

I guess the world will never know.  Maybe.

Poop Particles

I don't know what made me so germ-phobic when I was younger, but there was a rule....

Christina was NOT ALLOWED in my room (and especially not on my bed!!!!!) if she had just pooped. I had decided that "poop particles" followed her from the bathroom by way of her pants and she would bring them into my room thus infecting EVERYTHING!

There is also the routine she mandated....

When we got home from school I had to sit by the bathroom door and talk to her and keep her company while she pooped. I was quite the chatty Kathy at that age and had plenty of things I wanted to talk about.

".. we ate lunch and then Jessica made a face and we all laughed and then there was art class and I made a spaghetti and meatballs painting and I showed everyone that you really could eat it if you had a drawing of a fork..."

I yammered on and on until the germ-phobia kicked in.

"....so there I was on the playground and it was the coolest thing I ever.........hey.........HEY!!! I can HEAR you!!!!"

"no you can't" she says in a labored poop pushing voice

"YES I CAN! I'm leaving now!"

"Noooooo!" (like she needed me there or else the poo wouldn't pass. What am I? The gate keeper of the sphincter?)

Somehow..... she tricked me into staying, so I kept on blabbering, although keenly aware of further "pushing" sounds. I would pause everytime I think I heard a distinct labored grunt. Each time I would pause she would start laughing at me, which was followed by getting mad because I wasn't helping (what I was doing was causing her to laugh which in turn, was prohibiting the doody from coming out).

It was a weird situation to be in, I shouldn't be helping or hurting the chances of that potty making its way to its final destination. I shouldn't have anything to do with her personal, private toilet business, but somehow I was roped in each and every afternoon to this ridiculous routine.

I suppose it justifies my reasons for my ridiculous rule concerning "poop particles." I am now 26, and still firmly believe in "poop particles". 120 miles away the concept brings my sister to fits of hysterical laughter on the phone. And then she tells me that she's been pooping the entire conversation and that the poop particles are coming through the phone to get me!

Very smartly I reply with my argument:

"Christina, poop particles can't come through the phone cuz phones are for carrying sound, not matter, which poop particles are made of, duh"

Since "poop particles" doesn't have a page on wikipedia, and no further research can be done without bringing my sister to tears, I have no idea if my theory holds any water.

Cat in a Box


Story Behind the Poem

I bought a thrifted typewriter. Lord knows why I felt I needed it, but I put it to good use by sending my sister "faxes". I would type a mean spirited poem and tri-fold the paper in a business like manner and slip it under her bedroom door. The outside said "FAX FOR YOU". My thinking would be that it looked so official and business-like she couldn't NOT read it! I would wait outside the door until I heard her pick up the "fax" and read it. Soon she was sending me similar "faxes" under my door.

U smell-o.


U smell like spleen.
(which is bad)


Monday, August 29, 2011

The Poem That Started It All...

Dear Jennifer,

Pink, pink,
U stink.


(This is going to be a hilarious blog.  Just ask our friends.  We kill.)