Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Being Cheap Forces Me to Be Brilliant

Will something like this cause you to buy new sunglasses? Here's what happens when this situation happens to my cheap ass:

Looking in the mirror:

"YES!!! Sunglasses stay on my face without one of the little arm thingys!"

                                                              **Calling them "Arm Thingys" is legit...shut up**

                           Turns to the side:
                                                           "FUCK!! Now what?!?!"

Extreme side part to the rescue!

"No one driving on my left will even know the difference!"




Tuesday, November 8, 2011

FACKET - Defined

FACKET - (noun) a smashing of the words Fact + Packet.

This is the second morning Christina has called me at work. I don't know what time she has to work but by 8:30am I'm knee-deep in worky things. But as she is my sister and I love HATE her, of course I pick up the phone.

Jennifer: "You are calling at an unorthodox time of day. Is there an emergency?"

Christina: "This isn't an emergency. Unless you count me being completely nuts as an emergency?"

Jennifer: "Let me check my fact sheet." ::browsing an imaginary piece of paper:: "Nope, according to my fact sheet, this is not an emergency. Is this gonna be a new thing for you? Calling me each morning to distract me with our sisterly shenanigans?"

Christina: "Yes. ::LOL:: This is gonna be a new thing. I've been up since 5am drinking coffee."

A conversation ensued regarding a mission she has for me that requires me to browse the internet during my work time.


Jennifer: "What?! me? Not do work, AT WORK? How dare you!!    .....ok, what do you want?"

Throughout the call I kept referring to my "Fact Sheet". This of course, is now an imaginary sheet of paper that I will use to make my sister look stupid by validating my side of every arguement. The fact sheet will ALWAYS side with me. :)  (I have never before had such a tool to help me win against my big sister...THA POWER!! Mwahahaha!!)

Christina: "That fact sheet sounds like its getting pretty thick"

Jennifer: "Yes, its more of a packet really... a Fact Packet ... A FACKET!!"
Update by Christina:  Actually, *I* made up this word.  Leave it to a little sister to steal all the credit.  Y U NO GIVE ME CREDIT????  Y U NO LIKE ME????

A hence, a new word created by the sisters of Pink Pink U Stink . Please use it today and win your argument. Just be careful of how your pronounce it! You could sound like a discriminating asshole and wind up in Human Resources with a box for your personal possessions or your head swirlied in a toilet at a Train Station or beaten with plungers outside of Bed Bath & Beyond.