Poop particles can SO be conducted through the phone. They travel like sound. I'll get some sources on this asap.
Secondly, I made Jennifer sit outside the bathroom door while I pooped NOT to assist in some psychological or proximal way. I made her do it for the following reasons:
- For most of my high school career, my daily constitutional began it's prairie-doggin' dance on the bus on the way home. EVERYDAY. So poop was happenin' on a regular schedule. Fiber was my friend.
- Being the oldest of three and our dad not being home for another hour or two, I had responsibilities to take care of. One of them was checking/opening the mail. Another was holding the cordless phone (because I was IN CHARGE, that's why).
- Pooping and eldest-kid-responsibilities required simultaneous attention.
- Jennifer rules. When she was awesome, she was AWETHOME. When she was not so awesome, it was awethome to annoy her.
I have always asked myself: How does someone with their pants around their ankles, covered in very important mail and cordless phones, MAKE someone sit on the carpet outside the door and hold a conversation with said pooper?
I guess the world will never know. Maybe.