Friday, March 29, 2013


(this post is alternatively titled: my sister made me post I'm sorry)

I have created an alter ego. It started as a rambling and it has snowballed out of control. Its a rapper who raps about candy. Cuz forcing thugs to do community service (like give out free hugs to people) and eating candy will make them upstanding citizens again. goes nothing...

Album Name: "Candy and Free Hugs Will Reform the Thugs"
First Single: "I'll Pay Yo Skittle Bill"
"We be like up in the club,
Lookin at herrrrr
and I say to mah homie-
she need a hurrg.
(***rappers note to reader***that says hug, but gangster like-- huuuuuurrrrrrrg)
So I axe her if she want one fo' free.
and she bes like, yeaaaaaaaah.
Hug me, free hugs, I'll pay yo skittle bill.
Hug me, free hugs, I'll pay yo skittle bill."
Next track: "Starbursts make her juice loose"
"Juice. Juice. Juice. Juice.
We on the corner poppin, can't stop.
So bright we gon' shine
 like a sunburst,
but her juice is loose
like a starburst.
Juice. Juice. Juice. Juice,
her starburst juice is loose.
Strawberry, orange, cherry, lemon. I
'm tellin y'all its like heaven at 7-11.
Fruit strip gum and smarties,
I'll be good to you.
Payday, reese's,
to name a few.
But nothing feels as good when her starburst juice gets loose.
Bring it down to the candy aisle girrrrrrl
 so i get a better view.
Unwrap those squares
and get all the boys to chew."
and then there is this little ditty: "My twizzler will make your mouth happy" ft Drake (if he would answer my damn calls!)
Pull me, peel me, Flavor it, savor it.
Pull me, peel me, Flavor it, savor it.
Pull me, peel me, Flavor it, savor it.
Pull open that pack,
I'll watch your lips smack.
Gummy red delish,
you're the next one on my list.
Take a load off, get your smile on,
I know it sounds sappy
but I'm fo' real when I say
my twizzler will make your mouth happy."
Who is running to get my album when it drops next month?

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