What Do You Want to Be Today?

~Cat what are you doing. You are not a towel. You do not even like water. Get off of that.

~CAT DON’T LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT. IT’S YOUR LIFE. GO AHEAD AND BE A TOWEL. FUCK THE SYSTEM. YOU’RE SUCH AN INSPIRATION.

~CAT, DONT LISTEN TO THEM. YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY!

~THATS NOT EVEN A TOWEL RACK. ITS LIKE A PIPE OR SOME SHIT.

~DON’T LISTEN PIPE! YOU CAN BE A TOWEL RACK IF YOU BELIEVE! YOU AND CAT CAN BE TOWEL AND TOWEL RACK, BEST FRIENDS FOREVER, NOT LISTENING TO ANYONE WHO DOESN’T BELIEVE.

Loyal Readers: this just goes to show ya - For every shitty, debbie-downer in this world, there is a whole group of people waiting to encourage you to be whatever the fuck you wanna be. Towel rack, pipe, or otherwise… for instance, today I’m a cupcake sprinkle.

Love
HATE,

Jennifer

6 Proofs That Elephants Are Jerks

My hypothesis:  Elephants are jerks. 

Proof #1:  This elephant drives like my ex-boyfriend.  He would rather run the car off the road than allow it to pass safely and reasonably.

Proof #2:  Just like humans, some elephants are just jerks.  Like Stampy and Homer Simpson.

Proof #3:  Lamkun, The Deliberately Sneezing Pachyderm.  A delightful story about a ride on a jerk of an elephant.

Proof #4:  Poor iguana. Just go look at this picture.

Proof #5:  Color me jerk. Even interior decorators are catching on to this phenomena.

Proof #6:  GTFO. The first two rows will get wet.

Hypothesis:  PROVEN.  (I dare you to rebut in the comments.)